Dr. Mihelich just married Dr. Ventonis. It was a wonderful, beautiful and altogether loving family event. I never would have made it without my dear sister and nieces, who hand-made lovely invitations, arranged boxes of fresh flowers, and had my hair look just right. My wonderful brother-in-law kept the food on the buffet table going for hours. They can leap tall buildings in a single bound and move mountains as well, but I don't think there is any price you could pay them to do it again.
No wedding is "simple" once you begin inviting people. You add degrees of expense and complication with each new guest. I my opinion, the bridal industry is largely hype, high pressure and full of ridiculus, cheap fal-de-ra. Girls are suckered into dreaming of looking like a Disney Princess for a few hours at ridiculous cost. Ask any former bride who had a large wedding if the extravaganza helped her marriage to be stronger, kinder, more lasting, etc... The bridal gown hangs in a dry-cleaner bag taking up closet space you need for something else. You may not ever have a daughter who will wear it, and if you do have a daughter, she likely will want what is in style for her generation, not your old gown.
Ladies, mothers, sisters, women, girls, fiances, whoever you are, please, please, please ponder the things you need to do to make your moment sacred, spiritual and reflective of the way you want to move your paths together on one road, rather than on pagentry, pressured timelines and financial stresses young lovers don't need. Spend as much time on your vows as you do on picking out colors and interviewing DJs. It is a sacred event for you and your spouse. The wedding you plan reflects the condition of your souls as you embark on life's journey; two committed to one another before God for all of life's seasons.
Do involve your loved ones, family and friends. Deligate tasks and allow them to share what they have used themselves.
Do shop around and cost-compare.
Stay away from Bridal magazine ads and Big Chain Bridal Stores near high fashion marketing areas.
Don't be bullied by wedding planners, designers, etc. It is your wedding, on your budget, not theirs.
Listen to the minister, who has seen many, many couples do this. He or She has much experience and no money on the table. Their advice and wisdom is gold.
Consider: previously owned jewelry, previously worn bridal fashion, allowing attendants to choose their own clothing so that they can wear it again, and comfortable shoes. No one knows but you; yes, you with the comfortable, dance-all-night feet and the beautiful smile - with money in her pocket!
For many families, a wedding (or a funeral) is the closest thing they will ever get to a family reunion. Think about venues, dining facilities, activities and pre-wedding schedules that will allow the extended family to relax and visit, get to know the new side of the family and enjoy themselves.
May God bless you and keep you close, however you decide to celebrate your union.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Personality Styles and Money Habits
, On Friday August 26, 2011, 3:38 pm EDT
*Note: This was written by a Yahoo! contributor. Do you have a personal finance story that you'd like to share? Sign up with the Yahoo! Contributor Network to start publishing your own finance articles.
People's money habits are generally ruled by their personalities. While you can't change a person's basic personality type, you can persuade your partner to save or nudge your overly thrifty teenager into springing for a second pair of shoes.
Everyone in my family of four has a different personality type, and I've noticed we often clash when it comes to money matters. Here are the four basic personality types that affect the way we handle money, and what we do to smooth out our differences.
Laid back type
My youngest son with a laid-back personality is almost too thrifty. He is not at all money motivated. He has money in the bank not because he's a super saver, but because he rarely wants to buy anything. We get frustrated when he won't let us buy him new things, even when his jeans have holes in them. His life aspiration is to live in a van in Canada. Since he hates to shop, I quiz him about his style and color preferences on the Internet, and then order him new things.
Thinking type
My 18-year-old son is a thinking type who likes to save and isn't afraid to spend. He plans out his purchases years in advance. When he took a vacation by himself to Chicago this summer, he kept a meticulous record of his expenditures. We clash because he is extremely independent. Our solution was to help him open financial accounts at an early age, and teach him how to manage his own accounts so he would feel financially secure on his own.
Social type
Being a more social type, I like to shop for entertainment. My husband helped me turn from a spender into a saver by setting common goals. Once I could visualize how much fun we would have, I was more willing to be frugal and save. Knowing that I'm more motivated by experiences and he is more motivated by things helped us compromise.
Motivated type
My husband is a motivated person who falls into the workaholic and risk taker category. He likes to spend money on things that make him happy, but also buys things for others. We clash when he wants to take bigger financial risks such as buying rental properties. His motto is the greater the risk, the greater the reward. We keep financial peace in our marriage by letting him invest 10 percent of his portfolio in the more risky individual stocks. We have agreed to buy a rental property after we pay off the mortgage on our primary residence.
More from this contributor:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)